The seven “deadly” secrets of Google AdSense

Anybody heard the the story of the panda who wants to learn the much-coveted 7 deadly AdSense secrets? It went like this…

A panda was in constant awe of the 5 masters of Google AdSense who displayed their mastery of the art by showing off monthly Google checks. He went of to the mysterious mountain to train with the masters and learn their secrets, hoping to make a killing online with a simple twist of the fingers.

Much to his surprise, he got slapped around, told to train real hard, and got slapped around some more. He was baffled too, since each of the masters has a different style and told stories of learning the AdSense art since they were mere tots. Nobody told him it was hard work. All the stories he heard, especially from hawkers of little scrolls purportedly containing the “secrets,” said it is easy and quick to master Google AdSense and, subsequently, the ultimate art of making money online.

Dejected, the panda went home to become a burger-flipper as his father wanted him to be, “might as well master the secret-ingredient-burger,” he thought. Seeing how sad his son is, his father decided to share his secret ingredient to cheer him up, “Sonny boy, there is no secret ingredient with the patty thingy… if we believe our burger to be the most savory there was, there is, and there ever will be, then it will be the absolutely best anybody will ever taste.”

Enlightened, the panda sat up and thought about his training on the mysterious mountain. It dawned on him that he already possessed the 7 deadly secrets, he only have to believe in himself and his capabilities. Being the cute and cuddly animal that he is, the panda wanted to share his secrets with us.

Secret # 1

The Google search engine and AdSense are like Yin and Yang, bound together by Search Engine Optimization (SEO). We must use ninja SEO techniques (if there is such a thing) to attract visitors from all-knowing Google. Several wise masters of the northern Make-Money-Online-with-AdSense school have affirmed this. However, be forewarned, do not use the way of the iron monkey (stealthy ninja SEO technique) as nothing escapes the attention of the all-seeing Google who will pluck the liver of all those who dare try.

Secret # 2

The best performing AdSense type is the large rectangle, followed by the leaderboard. Both of them are… large and uses the principle that a fighting fan is better in attracting attention than a needle. We position the ad blocks to catch the people’s darting eyes. Honorable AdSense itself has divulged the 5 secret blocking positions in this time-honored scroll…err, heat map.

Secret # 3

The best color for links is–surprise!–BLUE, as in AdSense blue. Using a mysterious mystic art from the East, AdSense has somehow made that kind of blue communicate with a person’s subconscious and whisper, “click me.” Amazing! We don’t need to bother with the default colors if we have a white background, except make sure the ad block does not have a border to impede the flow of a person’s sight. Employing deceptive monkey kung fu techniques to make those links appear like part of our content or menu can only get us in trouble with AdSense’s secret society of click fraud assassins.

Secret # 4

Not all ads were created equal. Some pay better than others per click. Using the lesser known style of the famous ninja SEO technique known as Keywords-AdWords matching, it is possible to channel high paying advertisement to our ad blocks. The technique calls for seeking out keywords that advertisers pay a lot of money for, possibly with the help of AdWord’s keyword research tool, and using those keywords within our content.

Secret # 5

We need to sit in a lotus position, meditate, and try to sense what is happening with our AdSense blocks. Okay, let’s just head over to our AdSense dashboard and put each block under a channel. Channels will allow us to track how ad blocks are doing and optimize their layout, placement, color and related content. AdSense tracking is the name of the game. We can only see into the future, and catch those illusive clicks, by studying the past.

Secret # 6

Only the great dragon warrior can fell an opponent with one blow (and remember, the dragon is a mythical beast). Those of humbler origins and capabilities will need many strikes. In the same manner, we need to keep churning out page after page, site after site, in order to take down a Google check worthy of the 5 masters. More content means more pages indexed by Google and greater chances of displaying our ads to a lot of people.

Secret # 7

Finally, the ultimate secret. There is no secret move or technique to become a master of Google AdSense. We need to train hard, work at it, get slapped around, and develop our own fighting system. For every bump and bruise we get, we learn and earn another step that will take us closer to our black belt and beyond. The masters are so called because they have diligently studied their arts for years and evolved their own techniques.